Leon, take that break at two

“I got one line on the Sopranos…that makes me more gangster than you!” So Leon take that freaking break. And can anybody please tell why it's exactly two? This man did thorough research for his one-line appearance, and then he turned his hard work into one of the funniest videos I've seen in a long time:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCx8xjHMt_M[/youtube] Read more

Kiki and Bubu part 5: Christmas and the system

“The answer is the same as always: the system!” Furthermore there is, as we all know, no right life in the wrong one. So actually it's not a big surprise that Kiki and Bubu, monochroms ever-motivated fighters against capitalism, crave some Christmas carol spirit:

[youtube] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBP5OPLzlq8[/youtube]
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The size of the lighthouse does matter!

Gummi bears are so 2007 – kids these days crave lighthouses. Dan and me have been wandering though if the makers of this chewy candy have thought their concept through to the bitter end. I bet most parents wish their children did not end up as porn stars:

lighthouses
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How to finance microcredits with a fake beard

  1. Choose a beard that fits your needs.
  2. Stick it onto your face, either virtual or cut it out and take a picture.
  3. Mail the pic to couple65months@photos.flickr.com – for each fake beard, atto will pay 1$ to kiva – those guys give micro-credits to small business start-ups in developping countries.
  4. Do it!
ritchie mit bart

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Lord Jeebus vs. Chuck Norris

our Lord JeebusToday I got invited for an interesting new facebook group: it's all about a so called Jesus: he's a guy invented by some antichrists with the sole intention to mis-credit our true one and only saviour, Lord Jeebus Chuck Norris. So repent, SINNERS – and never forget what Jack Donaghue said about Irish catholics on 30 rock: “There's always the crusing guilt!” On the facebook group page it says:

JESUS save SINNERS.
JESUS told us about LOVE.
JESUS told us about TOLERANCE.
JESUS told us to HELP the others.
JESUS told us about PEACE.
JESUS told us about FREEDOM.
JESUS told us about FORGIVENESS…
lets go this way together.

But while Jesus is walking on water, Chuck Norris is walking on Jesus. Or swimming through land. So shouldn't the intro rather say:

CHUCK NORRIS is his own SON.
CHUCK NORRIS punishes SINNERS.
CHUCK NORRIS told us about MARTIAL ARTS.
CHUCK NORRIS counted to INFINITY. twice.
CHUCK NORRIS told us to SMASH THE FACES of others.
CHUCK NORRIS told us about the dangers of PEACE.
CHUCK NORRIS is FREEDOM.
CHUCK NORRIS reminded us that FORGIVENESS is for pussies…
lets go his way together.

My favorite god/ess

Johannes asked me to write a review of my favorite god/ess for monochroms Polytheism blog. The Viennese based group announced 2008 as the year of polytheism: the basic idea is to overcome unnecessary borders drawn by religion and – this is just my personal interpretation – to post-teenage religion.

What do I mean by post-teenage? Once you're in your twenties, you're statistically a lot more likely to rather accept and adopt various styles, be in the field of music or fashion or whatever, than to just hold on to one “scene”. Religion in that respect mostly is far behind pop culture, even though during the last decade I sensed a very interesting shift in terms of polytheism, especially amongst economically blessed women in their 40ies who are interested in “esoteric knowledge”. Nonetheless, many followers of different gods still don't hesitate to convince others that their own super-being is far superior to the ridiculous error their adversaries refer to as supreme master. Funnily enough just a couple hours before I was asked to write this text I saw a very funny poster at mmoabc.com, which depicts a woman carrying a sign that says: “Says the bible: war is sent by god.” The picture is part of series of spoofs of the well-know motivational motives featuring a colorful image and some silly words. The text accompanying this picture says: “Religious War. Killing each other to see who has the better imaginary friend.” And this I believe is just what the year of polytheism is all about:

The “International Year of Polytheism” (powered by monochrom) wants to overcome the epoch of the monotheistic worldviews (and its derivatives such as “The West” and “The Arab World”) through the reconstruction of a polytheistic multiplicity in which countless gods and goddesses will eventually neutralize each other.

But even though it is easy for me to support the idea and to feel frighteningly in tune with the great polytheist movement, I'm having hell of a hard time answering the question about my favorite god/esse/s, since I worship countless of them. Some live in my flat, some I talk to on a regularly basis, some I had sexual intercourse with and some I have never seen nor even dared to imagine in their full glory. And what exactly does favorite mean in that respect? Is my favorite god the one who brews the coffee just like I like it or is he the engineer who engineered the robot who built my bike? Or the guy who gives me this incredibly self-satisfied feeling when I'm flying high above the clouds in my wildest dream? Or is she the one who made every piece of organic matter live in such a way that we can interpret it as living matter if we want to? Is he the one who gave us freedom or is she the one who enslaved us?

There are many favorite gods, but like in the famous Kung Fu series featuring David Carradine, when the decade of training at the Shaolin monastery is done, only one of the grad students can become the new master. And if all of them surrender their title as their code of honor requires that means they still have to fight. So if I have to give one definite answer I go with the great green frog god, the one who is constantly watching over all frog- and non-frog creatures and makes all other gods tick. Even though Buddha is quite a cuddly roughneck, too…

Ever heard of the Donkey Punch?

The message of this movie is pretty clear: when people party hard, accidents happen. So better don't have fun or you might die. Or have to fight for your live. There's no doubt that the “Donkey Punch”, starting in july, does have the potential to become the new teenage hype-core artefact.

Wanna know what the big fuzz is all about? Take a look at the trailer:

Calum Best’s Chastity Project

Fans of MTV's series “Totally” know for sure, that Calum Best so far has never been spotted without the obligatory hot chick in his arm. But now he's walking down the path of the Catholic priest, even if only for a limited period of time:

I, Calum Milan Best, do hereby declare that I shalt not: Indulge in impure thoughts, Touch the ‘Holy Groin', Fornicate with double-D beauties, ‘Bash the Bishop' or
Peruse top-shelf literature

No impure thoughts whatsoever? At least no intercourse, that's for sure. But listen what Calum himself has to say about his 50 day non-sex period:

If you thought, think again!

Because it's the Ax Men – and they have the most dangerous job in the world, nothing like the X-Men. And nothing like the fax men who drift away over endless excel tables. Yes, that's right: chopping wood is a lot more dangerous than hammering away at your keyboard. You lose paragraphs, they lose limbs – that's why the history channel is spreading this great promotion clip:

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Dynamite Rewinds

Joni Rewind, the former DJ for Hamburg

monochrom and the BLF take over Big G

Austrian art group monochrom recently joined forces with the BLF (Billboard Liberation Front). Their Target: the Google Campus. Their mission: to set up a critical installation called “the great firewall of China”. It's art, so no one went to jail – the BLF knows the US law system like their vest pocket. What neither the monos nor the BLF knew though was that their action took place just on the day of a Google shareholder meeting – great coincidences still do occur in our wonder-less age! ‘njoy the vid: