GPS monitoring has evolved, at least in terms of spreading the word: the latest Nokia cellphones store training tracks, allow for sharing with friends and enable their users to geotag each picture. Very handsome if you're Pacman and on the run from ghosts chasing you: but what if they use a Nokia guide as well?
Here and there is not a music video in the strict sense and definitely not your average youtube short movie: the result of the collaboration between Eoghan Kidney and musician Simon Cullen is a very interesting hybrid with hypnotic qualities – watch for yourself:
Gina Lisa was a contestant in the hugely succesful tv-series “Germany's next top model”. Even though she had to leave the show after the first rounds, she won a lot of fans during that period. Gina Lisa is blond, has pretty impressive eyes and a lot of people – especially women – claim that she looks the tyical porn star. Her favourable sexy looks and clothes were not quite contradicting this judgement.
When Germany's biggest newspaper, the Bildzeitung, published an article about an online clip that supposedly showed Gina Lisa indulging into various kinds of lovemaking with an ex boyfriend, a huge amount of users eager to see their favorite topmodel undressed started to search for the video online: et voil
Yaro Starak, the Aussie “make-more-money-online-you-dimwit” guru tells me I gotta have pillar content for my blog. These articles constantly are going to drive unwanted traffic to datadirt. And Yaro says that How-to postings are a good way to achieve a strong pillar effect, so first I wanted to blog about how to blog (how to find the proper topic, that is.), but then it suddenly hit me: first things first, mate! All postings consist of proper sentences in the first place, so I decided to go on rambling about how to write a blog-posting sentence. I hope this will drive all desolate creatures out there – SEO dogs, bloggers and the like – to my blog for eternity.
Maybe I'll tell you how to find proper topics later on. And thanks for the reminder, but yes: I know that all sentences start with words, but I'll tell you how to find the proper word later. Maybe this is even going to turn into a pillar-content-series. No fillers, promised! (But there's tons of affliliate links to come.)
So first, we gotta ask ourselves: what exactly is a sentence? English teachers tell us it's basically a big or small bunch of words, thrown together in proper order and finished by an infinitessimaly small dot. Or a question mark. Or an exclamation mark. Generally, it's a good idea to first choose a proper stop-mark for your sentence in order to let the read know that a new sentence is about to begin. Once you've managed to complete this extremely important task, you should now go for…
There are many words, you can find some of them online. But be careful: not all words are apt as a starting point. Like “crud”, which is a word but yet again a whole sentence in itself. Or cunt, which is not so good for more obvious reasons. Personally, I prefer words beginning with the letter A or T, for example “Asfixation” or “Tourette Syndrome”. If you're totally undecided, you can always go with I – but not every time, as changing the so called ferstwerd (author slang) is vital. Sometimes it's even enough to just change the ferstwerd and put add a simple “,too” at the end of your second sentence:
Asfixation kind of sounds like ass fixation. Tourette Syndrome kind of sounds like ass fixation, too.
Young sentence builder, you're good to go now: once the first word has been written down, it's very easy to complete the sentence. Don't get distracted by style guides and know-it-alls you tell you to put focus on the verb. The verb totally doesn't matter. For the first couple of weeks, “to be” will do:
I am being totally happy. Christmas is this year.
That's what pros call the “ontological writing style”, which is totally uber-important for all pillar articles, as you're trying to define something here, right?
Once you advance in writing level, you'll probably want to start using commas as well. But be carefull though: stick to one sentence whenever possible, or you're bound to confuse your readers:
I am suffering form asfixation, I am suffering from Tourette syndrome, too, I decided to write this article, I hope you are now reading it.
Most writers tend to over-use new tools, it's basically the same problem with people who start using word and insert a wordart graphic on every single page. Just keep these advices in mind and your sentences will rule supremely over anybody else's!
Wanna know more? Enlist in my online course “How to write other sentences than all most other people.” The course covers a variety of vital topics (sentences that don't start with I, other verbs besides “to be” to name just the two most important ones.) It's just 300 dollars a month, or you pay me 3.000 dollars upfront – and you'll see where this gets you. Just look at me. If I hadn't paid for my own course, I could have never written this many sentences! And don't forget: once you know how to write succesfull sentences, the money will come back to you. No, it will flood you. You'll wish you never made so much money as you gonna need a way bigger flat to store all your brand-new 100 dollar bills. And a bigger car to transport them. And a bigger anus to stick your own head into, as you gonna be so self-satisfied that it actually hurts.
Don't even think of blaming me if you scheme won't work. It it doesn't, it's purely your fault, you dimwit. Didn't I tell you to stick to simnple sentences for the first few weeks?
Back in the days the pagerank algorithm was the greatest invention of all SERP times, and Xsara has learned the importance of organic link growth very fast. And since other SEO dogs know this as well, she now wants to increase commenting activity on here blog via the use of a dofollow-plugin. And she strives to be number one for the query “nofollow dog blog”… but there's a long and winding road in front of her!
Matthew Inman has taken over the extremely difficult task of reducing all current web trends into one simple page that says it all: and indeed it does. Mr. Screwturner pointed me to this great and all-so-well fitting masterpiece: The State of the Web, Summer 2k8.
Johannes asked me to write a review of my favorite god/ess for monochroms Polytheism blog. The Viennese based group announced 2008 as the year of polytheism: the basic idea is to overcome unnecessary borders drawn by religion and – this is just my personal interpretation – to post-teenage religion.
What do I mean by post-teenage? Once you're in your twenties, you're statistically a lot more likely to rather accept and adopt various styles, be in the field of music or fashion or whatever, than to just hold on to one “scene”. Religion in that respect mostly is far behind pop culture, even though during the last decade I sensed a very interesting shift in terms of polytheism, especially amongst economically blessed women in their 40ies who are interested in “esoteric knowledge”. Nonetheless, many followers of different gods still don't hesitate to convince others that their own super-being is far superior to the ridiculous error their adversaries refer to as supreme master. Funnily enough just a couple hours before I was asked to write this text I saw a very funny poster at mmoabc.com, which depicts a woman carrying a sign that says: “Says the bible: war is sent by god.” The picture is part of series of spoofs of the well-know motivational motives featuring a colorful image and some silly words. The text accompanying this picture says: “Religious War. Killing each other to see who has the better imaginary friend.” And this I believe is just what the year of polytheism is all about:
The “International Year of Polytheism” (powered by monochrom) wants to overcome the epoch of the monotheistic worldviews (and its derivatives such as “The West” and “The Arab World”) through the reconstruction of a polytheistic multiplicity in which countless gods and goddesses will eventually neutralize each other.
But even though it is easy for me to support the idea and to feel frighteningly in tune with the great polytheist movement, I'm having hell of a hard time answering the question about my favorite god/esse/s, since I worship countless of them. Some live in my flat, some I talk to on a regularly basis, some I had sexual intercourse with and some I have never seen nor even dared to imagine in their full glory. And what exactly does favorite mean in that respect? Is my favorite god the one who brews the coffee just like I like it or is he the engineer who engineered the robot who built my bike? Or the guy who gives me this incredibly self-satisfied feeling when I'm flying high above the clouds in my wildest dream? Or is she the one who made every piece of organic matter live in such a way that we can interpret it as living matter if we want to? Is he the one who gave us freedom or is she the one who enslaved us?
There are many favorite gods, but like in the famous Kung Fu series featuring David Carradine, when the decade of training at the Shaolin monastery is done, only one of the grad students can become the new master. And if all of them surrender their title as their code of honor requires that means they still have to fight. So if I have to give one definite answer I go with the great green frog god, the one who is constantly watching over all frog- and non-frog creatures and makes all other gods tick. Even though Buddha is quite a cuddly roughneck, too…
Naturally, dogs prefer to do things doggy-style. Like Xsara, who recently found out about the advantages of Google knol. Ever since, I can't seem to interest her in social bookmarking any more…
Big G is firing up new half-ready services by the week: first lively, now Knol – a beast arising fromt the deepest darkest places where no wikipedia-user ever dwelled. Because Google is allowing follow-backlinks, so Knol will be spammed faster than a spam factory.
Unless the reviewer system actually starts to work. And unless Google goes for multi-langual support. Otherwise, quick SEOs will soon start posting “guides” on how to moderate blogs or explain the basics of SMO – social media optimization. And that's most likely the reason why the don't dare to put up “latest knols” on their front page.
The message of this movie is pretty clear: when people party hard, accidents happen. So better don't have fun or you might die. Or have to fight for your live. There's no doubt that the “Donkey Punch”, starting in july, does have the potential to become the new teenage hype-core artefact.
Wanna know what the big fuzz is all about? Take a look at the trailer:
Fans of MTV's series “Totally” know for sure, that Calum Best so far has never been spotted without the obligatory hot chick in his arm. But now he's walking down the path of the Catholic priest, even if only for a limited period of time:
I, Calum Milan Best, do hereby declare that I shalt not: Indulge in impure thoughts, Touch the ‘Holy Groin', Fornicate with double-D beauties, ‘Bash the Bishop' or
Peruse top-shelf literature
No impure thoughts whatsoever? At least no intercourse, that's for sure. But listen what Calum himself has to say about his 50 day non-sex period: